What to do if caught cheating by your spouse (A MUST READ)

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INFIDELITY- the fact remains that infidelity is real. Some married people do get soaked in the dirty waters of sexual immorality.


And when it happens, there should be a way to deal with it. This should never be encouraged, but the truth of the matter is that it is a reality. Some married ones who engage in infidelity get caught in the act undeniably. Though no one prays for such to be his/her lot, to discover that one’s husband or especially one’s wife is cheating on one can be killing. But, I believe that what will happen to the marriage thereafter would be largely determined by what the caught-in-the-act partner does about the discovery.

As I consider this dangerous issue, I remember a song composed and sung by the popular juju musician turned gospel singer, Ebenezer Obey, about such an incident. The message in the song is that if the cheating spouse is the wife, the sane thing to do is to go down on her knees and passionately plead for forgiveness.

But, if it is the husband that is the culprit, he should try and cover up the deed, and if that fails, he should use bold face. After all, a man can have more than one wife, but a woman is only allowed to have one husband at a go. Oh my God! It is indeed a man’s world. Otherwise, what makes it right for a man to cheat on the wife, while the wife is expected to stay ever faithful to the husband?

But for the sake of love, justice and equity, I strongly believe that the way out for the cheating partner, whether husband or wife, is to show remorse and passionately plead for forgiveness. This will not correct the damage that has been done, but it will at least assuage the offended and hurt partner. It makes it look like it could have been a genuine overbearing temptation for him or her.

Asking for forgiveness also relieves the hurt and pains in the heart of the offended partner. Trying to explain it away or using bold face will only do more damage to the marriage. It may harden the offended partner to take a pound of flesh at the slightest opportunity. After all, what is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.
Married couples need to realise that cheating goes beyond the real act of s*x. After all, one may say the organ was just used and not taken away. But it borders on the issue of trust and love. It throws up so many questions in the heart of the offended. One wonders whether one was truly loved in the first instance. The question of loss of physical value and attraction also readily comes to such minds. Cheating batters the self esteem of the offended. One may feel like a failure in his/her marital responsibility.

This is why it is always difficult to forgive such an act of cheating. But taking a penitent approach makes it easier to forgive and lessen the burden of the inflicted pain. Or what do you think? A rejoinder or contribution is most welcome, especially if it is a firsthand experience.

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